Babel:W2
- 455 – The Vandals plunder Rome, forcing the admins to revert to an earlier edit.
- 1774 – The Quartering Act, which allowed for people to be drawn and quartered, is reenacted by a small community theatre to poor reviews.
- 1801 – Napoleon Bonaparte is blown apart.
- 1866 - After practicing for rebellion in 1848 in Ireland, Irish patriots calling themselves Fenians invade Canada for more practice and take two towns. A British warship is installed in every duckpond and stop the attacks. The next practice would not be held until 1916.
- 1959 – The very first June bug is caught, but is determined to be a mayfly that stumbled across the International Date Line.
- 1968 – Argentina reports the first case of human flu in birds. A cull of 20,000 humans is carried out.
- 1995 – Children are discovered in North Korea, dispelling the rumor that North Koreans reproduce asexually using WMDs and fascism.
- 2001 – The first HAL9000 supercomputer is recalled by manufacturer Itsa Bigga Machine, eh?TM.
- 2003 – The European Space Agency begins probing Mars. Europeans promise to colonize Mars, give Martian natives smallpox, and spur intergalactic wars of independence.
Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem (pictured) | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift | Praey for the gods | Henry Kissinger | Sandra Day O'Connor | Battle for Dream Island | Rastadon | Quintana Roo | Digestive system | The Sims 4 | Ahsoka (TV series) | King Charles II | The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
June 2, 2024
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Today's featured article – Rastadon
The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer.
The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...)
Previously featured article – The Addams Family
The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
June 2, 2024
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
And some others, in case you missed them...
June 2, 2024
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
LandoftheJews.png
LandoftheJews.png - 5 total votes ( 5 / 0 ) |
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Land of the Jews, based on promo poster for George A. Romero's film Land of the Dead. Image credit: RabbiTechno |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
June 2, 2024
Congratulations for June's Writer and Noob of the Month!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
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